DREAMING OF LAND GIANTS: DISTANCE BROUGHT ME CLOSER.

Over the years, escaping into the mountains became an essential rhythm in my life, especially those of North Wales. I would venture out in different seasons ito absorb how the land transformed, not just beneath my feet, but in the skies above and the moods of the weather.

Since the dreaded Covid pandemic, however, getting back to the wild places that fuel me has been on the back burner. Health issues made it impossible to return to the mountains and wander as I once did.

June 2024 was the last time I made it to North Wales, my first visit in years after not being strong enough to make the journey. I put so much pressure on that weeklong trip, hoping it would be perfect, believing that the mountains would heal me. On the first day, I pushed myself too hard, determined to spend the entire day walking. But it wiped me out, both physically and mentally, for the rest of the week.

Back home in the studio, I turned to the easel, intent on letting the land giants heal me in the only way they now could — through paint. I began drawing from memory, as I always do, but this time was different. I dug deeper into past experiences, stirring a great cauldron of facts, feelings, and imagination. Something in my work began to shift. I started to truly see — or at least try to see — the heart of the mountains. I wasn’t afraid to explore colour, searching for remembered fragments: the texture of a rock, the overwhelming stillness of a vast vista that calms the soul instantly.

Even though I’d been away from what most inspires me for so long — and though that long-awaited trip left me more broken than healed — I found solace in the studio. I turned to the colour palettes and techniques I had explored in sketchbooks during times when I was bed-bound. I wasn’t just painting what I remembered; I was searching, looking inward, reaching for the strength the land giants once gave me — and in doing so, discovering my own.

Being forced to stay away from the landscapes I crave has only brought me closer to understanding why my soul is so deeply and truly bound to the land giants.