STUDIO DIARY 2025 - #2

Grand plans are always made when I take time out, but I think it’s because I’ve given myself time to breathe. I had every intention of launching straight into studio work when I returned from Wales; I was going to write up experience of the trip and publish it in the first couple of days back. Well, none of that happened, but that’s ok. I think that because my venture into the land giants was so different than previously experienced, that I wanted to have time to process it all.

When pressure gets applied into creating I cease up, either by not creating at all find myslef in a painful hateful relationship with painting or by not letting work flow from me organically. I am putting into practice to use the studio like a good friend, and for it to be a place that I can go to when I’m at my best, when I’m tired, sad, hopeless, the list goes on. However, like all good friends, they fully understand when you need some space.

Taking time out is vital, to fully remove yourself from your normal daily routine. Currently for me there has been a lot of noise in my everyday. There is hardcore building work next door that starts bang on 8am every morning and for someone who needs a gentle wake up, over three months of this daily has not been restful. There has also been a mental noise of dealing with family members health issues as well as my own. It’s not until you have a break and step away from things that you realise how much you have been carrying and trying to just simply get through. I have been treating my studio as a place I can step away to and like before when things get tough it has been a haven, but to fully be away from my studio for a period of time has also forced my hand in reflecting what and how I’ve been working. There isn’t much that is worrying or troubling me with my practice at the moment, but this has been affirming to feel this about my work even if it does make me air on the side of caution too. It’s not that I’m comfortable with how I’m working, as I firmly believe that if I’m comfortable with how my work is emerging that is the time to worry. I want to be able to work in a way that I’m always questioning and challenging what I’m doing, pushing myself, always learning from my work. Working organically I do move with how I’m feeling or what the painting tells me it needs, but I’m also asking myself “what can I do that’s slightly different”. Sometimes these experiments work and it feels amazing, sometimes they are a complete disaster. Both instances ate important for progression.

So, as I reflect on how much painting I’ve not accomplished since having time out, I’m trying not to pressure and beat myself up, as perhaps the mind and body was not quite ready for full creative flow just yet. We are after all moving into a slower time of the year, a time to take stock and begin a softer way of being than the mad rush to get everything done that the summer months can bring. I’m getting ready, I’m getting ready to full emerse and hibernate into my creative flow in the studio - I hope.